Oh the fun I will have!

I have officially entered back into the single and sometimes dating world. It's funny, I fear this world each time I initially enter back into it. However, I quickly remember the fun, freedom, and self realization that comes with it. Truth is, I get to enjoy little moments on my own. I can sit in the quiet, watch tv, drink a glass of wine and just... Be. My schedule is my own. I eat when I want, workout when I want, sleep when I want. Glorious.

The interesting part comes with dating. The best part is I get to flirt... shamelessly. I don't have to watch what I say out of respect for a significant other. These experiences can be charming, embarrassing, comical and lovely. And I'm going to start sharing a few. This will be fun.

And to start off... An awkward lunch date.

I ended up on a blind date with a firefighter. A very handsome firefighter. Normally this guy is my ideal. And here is proof that initial physical attraction can die quick. We had lunch at farm grill. He hadn't been there before and asked what I knew about Agritopia. I told him a quick history of the farm and restaurant. He made a snarky commerce along the lines of "must be nice to be rich." Oh boy. I just responded with its not always glamorous and happy. I left it at that. He asked if I was from Arizona, followed by my brief explanation that I was from dc but my family lives in new York now. And it went downhill from there. That began an hour long tangent by him about so many things and then he had to go. So basically the guy knows nothing about me and it was just weird.

Yup attraction killed by bad conversational skills.

NEXT!

Door is closed. Amazing and smiley.

Last post on this subject.
Ever.
And it is an immensely happy one.

I have actually moved on from the love that didn't work out.
I had an unfortunate run in.
I knot formed in my stomach.
Following a great friends advice, I didn't let it affect me.
Two seconds later and one big deep breath... The knot was gone.
My mind was clear.
My heart was clear.

This is true peace and happiness.

Yay.
:)

{faces}

{I was in a silly picture taking mood yesterday}

The Health and Fitness posts are moving!

Hey friends!

I'm going to relaunch trainerlolo.com today! If you're looking for any health, fitness and nutrition posts or information go to that site starting tomorrow.

I'm making my way back into the fitness and nutrition world and this is one of my steps I'm taking.

Enjoy!

trainerlolo.com

10 truths {round three}

1. I think Bon Iver's "Rosyln" is one of the most beautiful songs... EVER. It brings a great calm over me. (note: the link brings you to the only album on iTunes that has it but that whole album is pretty dang awesome. Don't make fun I know its a twilight movie!)


2. I think my dog is the raddest companion. She's my baby and the cutest pup.
3. I love wearing my workout clothes all... day... long. especially if they are lululemon.

4. I'm getting more perturbed at the fact that this new Mormon temple being built is starting to block my gorgeous mountain view... that God made on his own. :( Seems a bit hypocritical. Just my opinion.

5. I secretly wish I was better about writing thank you notes. I was raised better than that.

6. Everyone gets dealt a bad hand once in a while. It's what makes you stronger.

7. My addiction to Pinterest was over in about a week.

8. I actually hate running. I'm too ADD for it. I just do it because it feels great when I'm done.

9. This is the first time I have moved on from a real heartbreak without just moving on to someone else. I moved on to myself.

10. The greatest truth of all:
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:1-8

My leap list

A leap list is a list of things you want to do or conquer before your next life milestone like marriage, graduation or a baby for example. My leap list is before I get married. I may do these things on my own, with friends or with someone special.

1. Run a full marathon in San Diego.
2. Spend a week in San Francisco.
3. Go to Disneyworld or Disneyland as an adult... Aka a big kid.
4. Go to Africa to serve the hungry and sick children.
5. See Coldplay live. Again.
6. Visit Colorado and take in the beauty.
7. Drink wine in Sonoma.
8. Hot air balloon ride in one of many places...

Lauren:Awakened {getting off the carousel}

Isn't this carousel GORGEOUS?!

As a little girl I spent many weekends on this exact carousel at Glen Echo Park in Maryland. All the pretty colors, bright lights and mirrors, it is a quite a sight and so amazing that it has lasted 90 years, an amazing piece of Metropolitan DC history.

My life became a non-stop carousel ride May 9th, 2001.
Trust me... that is NOT a happy place.
That day my Mom lost a long battle with cancer.

Now, I'm not going to describe every detail of how that changed my family and our lives, but you can imagine the change in my father after he lost the love of his life and best friend. My younger sister motherless and not even 13 years old. And I was on the verge of turning 16, without my mother to guide me into adulthood.

Immediately a hole began to form in my being. Over the past 11 years i have tried many ways to fill that hole, starting with a serious boyfriend in high school you couldnt tear me away from, then my first year in New Orleans at college was filled with partying waaay too much, another boyfriend who left me and it destroyed me, and into a cycle of different addictions (drugs, alcohol, love, exercise, etc) over the next few years. And now into my adult years turned into a love addiction. I would fall hard and fast for someone, then when it blew up it would be dragged out because "I couldn't live life without them, even just as my friend."

Any of my psychology friends know what this is? I do now.

I have learned SO MUCH about who I am these last few months. But the greatest realization, came early this week...

...here's the carousel:
Those horses in the middle row of the carousel move up and down as the carousel moves round and round. This is me in relationships. It hits a point where it is not going to move in the CORRECT forward motion and the carousel begins. We keep going around and around trying to fix things and the ups and down get worse and worse. Now a NORMAL person would just get off the dang thing right? Well I don't. Formerly trying to fill a hole with someone else who can't fill it, I held on tight.

But I just got off the stupid carousel of my former relationships. And it feels amazing. Its never going to happen again because I know myself and what is healthy and interdependent instead of codependent.
...

I am so excited for the future and what it may bring. I am hopeful and open. I have truly let go of the past and that person so I can be available to the next. But until he finds me, I'm having a blast with friends and this great world God has given me to experience. I can listen to Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years" and smile instead of cry.

I am joyful.

Welcome to... Lauren:Awakened

Most Inspiring Video Ever!!!

BAH HA HA HA HA HA

Happy Wednesday

<3 Lo

You cannot let me down

There is an old sex and the city episode where charlotte talks about her list of requirements for the man she will date and eventually marry. People tend to have a negative idea about people with high standards. There is nothing wrong with high standards especially when these standards involved respect and how you are treated. But you better meet your own standards

too!

My standards do not involve what kind of job you have. I have dated successful people and that was their whole life. I also know some super awesome successful people so I'm not knocking on all you guys!

My standards do not involve how much money you have, but how you manage it. I'm not always the best at this so if you're not great at it either... Were in trouble.

My standards do not involve your relationship with your family. If you're super close to them, that's fantastic. But my family is complex and if yours is too, I get it. I've dated the person with the super tight knit family, and they were horrible to me.

The short list: be respectful, carry a conversation, know who you are, don't be afraid to love.

My gold standard: don't EVER let me down. I ask one thing... Always be there for me. I promise I will always be there for you; drop everything and come running if needed.

Have you ever ended up in the hospital by yourself? I have... Twice. It is a horrible feeling. I'll never do that to you if you never do that to me.

I was with "Mr everything" but looking back I see how that's not true. Old fashioned chivalry is not everything. Flowers, gifts, travel and dinners are mere smoke screens. Because when you are abandoned at your most vulnerable, weakest moment. That love is nothing. Your high standards are nothing. And that Mr everything raised my standards... To what he couldn't give me...

Don't ever let me down.

...Now on to finding you...

Reflections

Last year I loved immensely.

I stopped looking for an identity and instead started to find me.

I let a person know every bit of me and my life.

I found a second family.

I fell in love with Gilbert Arizona.

I took a turn at a new passion only to lead back to an old one.

I held a newborn.

I spoke my mind even when it wasn't warranted.

I left one way friendships.

I went out of my comfort zone and then crawled back in.

I found God.